Kindle and paperback

Kids know the rules. In the moment they need a sentence.

Name: What Do I Say If...?
Author: Iris Athens

What Do I Say If...? is a street-smart phrasebook by Iris Athens for kids aged 8 to 12 and the grown-ups who read with them. It covers 100 real situations, from a surprise school pickup to a stranger in a game chat, each with a short line to say, what to do next and who to tell.

What Do I Say If...?. The Street-Smart Phrasebook for Kids 8-12: The Exact Words to Say No, Get Help, and Stay Safe With Strangers, Friends, Bullies, and People Online

Your child already knows a lot of rules. Don't talk to strangers. Be careful online. Tell me if anything happens. The trouble is that rules are easy to remember at the kitchen table and hard to use in the moment.

When a friend is daring them, or a grown-up is rushing them, or a message makes their stomach drop, a child does not need one more rule. They need a short sentence they have said out loud before, so it comes out on its own. That is what this book is: a phrasebook, like the ones you take on a trip, but for the tricky moments of being 8 to 12.

Every one of the 100 situations follows the same steps. NOTICE gives the clue that something is off. SAY THIS gives the first line, short on purpose. IF THEY PUSH gives the next line when the other person doesn't stop. DO THIS is the action that keeps the child safe, and TELL IT says who to tell and when. Then a PRACTICE line for the grown-up to read out loud, a little pushy, a little friendly, so the child can answer it in a strong voice.

The advice follows public guidance from groups like the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, the American Academy of Pediatrics and StopBullying.gov, with the sources listed at the back. Those groups did not write or review the book. It uses no statistics and no scary stories, because fear makes kids freeze and practice makes them move.

Why don't the rules work in the moment?

A friend dares themSaying no to a friend is harder than saying no to a stranger. The book gives the line and the next line when the friend keeps pushing.
A grown-up rushes themSomeone they don't know says a parent sent them. The book teaches kids to check first before going anywhere with anyone.
A message makes their stomach dropSixteen online situations, from a question about their school to a threat to share a picture, each with what to type or not type.
"Stranger danger" leaves them stuckKids don't know who counts as a stranger, and a lost child needs to ask one for help. The book teaches them to watch what people do instead.

What is inside the book?

01
Four starting chaptersThe inside alarm, the strong voice, safe grown-ups, and the difference between secrets and surprises.
02
100 situations in five stepsNOTICE, SAY THIS, IF THEY PUSH, DO THIS, TELL IT, plus a PRACTICE line for the grown-up to read.
03
Everyday placesChapters for school, friends and dares, bullies, out in public, home alone, and online and gaming.
04
Two chapters to read togetherCalm chapters on body safety and on what to do when a grown-up breaks the rules.
05
EmergenciesWhat to say to 911, and what to do about fire, gas, choking, poison and storms.
06
The Practice GameAn 8-week schedule of ten minutes a week, and a What Would You Do quiz after each chapter.
07
A plan for the fridgeA fill-in family safety plan and twelve cut-out cards with the key lines for a backpack.

What does your child have after eight weeks?

A set of short lines they have said out loud many times, so they come out on their own when a friend dares them or a stranger in a game asks where they live. You have a family safety plan on the fridge and a habit of ten minutes a week. The last card in the book is for you: "You will never be in trouble for telling me."

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This book is for you if

You have a child, grandchild or student aged 8 to 12 who is starting to go out, play online or stay home alone.
You want to practice what to say without scaring them.
You want one book that covers school, friends, bullies, public places, home alone and online games.
You want ten minutes a week you can actually keep up.

This book is not for you if

Your child is under 7 or already a teenager. The lines and the practice game are written for ages 8 to 12.
You are looking for a safety system or a replacement for supervision. This is a set of words to practice. If a child may be in danger right now, call 911.

Questions before you buy

What age is What Do I Say If...? for?

Kids aged 8 to 12, read with a parent, grandparent or teacher. Older kids can read it alone, but the practice lines are written for a grown-up to read out loud while the child answers. It is not written for children under 7 or for teenagers.

Does the book teach stranger danger?

No. It follows the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, which moved away from stranger danger. Kids learn to watch what people do, not how they look, to check first before going anywhere with anyone, and to pick who to ask for help, like a store worker with a name tag.

Will it scare my child?

The book is built not to. It uses no statistics and no scary stories. The body safety chapter and the chapter on grown-ups who break the rules are meant to be read together, and you can skip or pause any page. Practice is always announced; the book says never to test a child with a staged stranger or a fake message.

Is this book a replacement for supervision or professional help?

No. If a child may be in danger, call 911. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 offers free, confidential counseling by call or text. Iris Athens is a pen name, and the author is not a child-safety professional.

What format is it in?

It is an English-language book of 159 pages, on Amazon Kindle for $4.99 and in paperback for $13.99. The paperback is handy for the fill-in safety plan and the cut-out cards.